Tokyo Disneyland Attractions Ranked

Sergio
2021.12.03
1,379 views

I already talked about my impressions of the Disney Parks in Tokyo, and rated the rides at DisneySea. Here are those at Disneyland, rated from one to five Goofies.

Pirates of the Caribbean

You ride a boat, you listen to some pirates sing, and you see some cool animatronics. Johny Depp is not real. Three and a half Goofies.

Swiss Family Treehouse

It’s just a fancy treehouse, but it really makes me wish I lived in one. The sense of escapism elevates this to three Goofies.

The Enchanted Tiki Room

Stitch from Lilo and Stitch sings with some parrots and flowers. They said we might get wet, but I didn’t feel or see a single drop. One Goofy and one Goofy tooth.

Mark Twain Riverboat

I like boats and it’s actually nice to see some real nature in Tokyo. Who knew Disneyland had so much of it. Again, escapism and nature wins. Four Goofies.

Big Thunder Mountain

We rode this because we got the wrong tickets. We wanted to go to Splash Mountain. Still, another fun rollercoaster. Three and a half Goofies.

Beaver Brothers Explorer Canoes

Did I mention I like boats and nature? It’s simply rowing in a canoe. That’s enough for me. Four Goofies.

Alice’s Tea Party

You just ride teacups… but you can spin them really fast. Without the spinning, it would be one Goofy and one Goofy leg, so it’s not so great with small kids. But listening to my girlfriend scream is priceless. Five Goofies.

Haunted Mansion

Another “ride a thing and watch animatronics” ride. It has some cool ghost effects. Three Goofies and one Goofy glove.

Roger Rabbit’s Car Toon Spin

It wouldn’t let me spin it fast enough. Disappointing. Two Goofies.

Star Tours

Like SeaRider, another “3D screen plus moving seats” ride. C3PO is annoying. Two and half Goofies.

Space Mountain

Cool rollercoaster, fast and really dark, which makes it scarier since you don’t know what’s coming. Four Goofies and a Goofy head.

The Happy Ride with Baymax

Trash. One Goofy.

Monsters Inc. Ride and Go Seek

You have to find monsters with a flashlight, but then it doesn’t tell you how many you got. Why would anyone do that? One Goofy and one annoying Goofy laugh.

Enchanted Tale of Beauty and the Beast

OK, this is a tricky one. The ride was actually pretty good, with some nice choreography… until the end, when it broke and we had to be evacuated. At least we got a ticket for a line-less ride at any Disney park in the next two years. That also means I have to come back. Oh well. Four broken Goofies out of five healthy Goofies.

That’s all for the rides. I would say the strength of these parks is that they allow us to escape our dystopian urban nightmare of a life and to see some open spaces, water, trees, terraces… in that sense, I see the appeal of Disneyland and DisneySea now. Disneyland has better rides, and DisneySea has a better atmosphere. I imagine the long lines would drive me crazy under normal circumstances, but without them I actually enjoyed my two days off quite a bit.

Overall, I score these parks three quarters of Donal Duck out of one.

Hi, I’m Sergio.
I’m from Spain, lived in the UK for seven years and came to Japan in 2012.
I majored in journalism in London and have been teaching English in Tokyo.
I like traveling, cycling, photography, movies, and spending time with friends.
I wrote articles about life in Japan as a foreigner and anything that I might find interesting.
My email is ” sergio.dom.jpn@gmail.com “, by all means contact me about anything!